Shakira sat on the balcony of her penthouse apartment, sipping peppermint tea and watching the sun setting over the mountains. She loved her home, but was grateful that she and her sister could use one of their TARDISes to get to any beach on Thera in several seconds, as she also loved the ocean but lived too far inland to drive there.
Suddenly, her phone rang, and identified the caller as ‘Farrah’. “Salaam aleikum…what? Lawrence? What do you mean Farrah is hurt? I will be there right away!” Finishing her tea as fast as possible, Shakira hurried to her TARDIS as her heart raced, despite time being of no relevance. She connected her phone to the TARDIS console to provide the co-ordinates of her last caller, and proceeded to fly her TARDIS back four years into a faraway galaxy. It was unusual for her to ignore the beauty of the time vortex (which was only beautiful from the safety of her TARDIS, behind the viewing window), but these were unusual circumstances. Once she landed, she habitually threw her dupatta around her head; even though she was never the hijabi her sister always was, she felt awkward without her hair covered and so only worked as a professional belly dancer in women-only clubs and suchlike and only went swimming in private areas unless she borrowed her sister’s swimsuits. She opened the doors, this time leaving her TARDIS on so Farrah didn’t have to translate for her, and encountered a familiar blonde. “Alana? What the fuck, I was told you were behind Farrah’s legal rights being taken!”
“No! That was a lie they spread to hurt her!”
“Where is Ryan? I suppose he is innocent too?” I still don’t like him, Shakira thought.
“They were telling the truth about him. He’s easily bribed.”
“Is he too much of an attention seeker to give up his post as tragic carer and victim of one of his movies turning into a reality?”
“Yeah that’s about it.”
Shakira rolled her eyes, locked her TARDIS and rushed over to her friend, who was being cradled by Lawrence.
“What happened?” she asked, stroking Farrah’s hair.
“I just tripped over, and I landed on my arm and it broke” she said through tears.
“I’m sure it’s from the chemo…it’s my fault, all of this is” Lawrence said.
“No it’s not!” Alana told him, “you had no choice, it’s all you were taught at college and it’s all you’re allowed to do because of big business’s power.”
His angst session was interrupted by a car stopping just outside Farrah’s house, and two time/space ships that appeared to be 1950’s cars landing on the roof. “Hey! I got your call! Is she alright?” Dex asked from outside, while Strawberry and Ursula stood at the door to the roof asking something similar. Alana let them in, and Lawrence said to all of them, “Wow, I didn’t expect you all to be available; I was just calling everyone because I know you’re all busy and I hoped one of you could come over.”
“We can time travel you know! I didn’t come here straight away”, answered Strawberry.
“I got your message several hours ago when I was still at work” Ursula added.
“Aw, get used to it!” Strawberry said. “What are we gonna do? I don’t have any of my stuff and neither does Ursula.”
“I have all my medical things in my TARDIS, I can inject stem cells into the fracture and have it healed in two or three days, but I don’t have an operating theatre in there so she does need to go to the hospital.”
“Isn’t that a little dangerous for us?” Alana asked, remembering what happened last time.
“I can fight, I am half Sontaran, remember?” Ursula announced.
“What’s a Sontaran?” Alana had never heard of one before.
“Sontarans are a proud warrior race, my father used to fight for them.” They all entered Shakira’s TARDIS, and she quickly flew her ship to the hospital and landed it in the same patch of grass that she parked it when she first saved Farrah. “I don’t think I can walk that far”, the blonde said. Shakira answered this by leaving the room and coming back with a stretcher and a box of cotton buds, saying “You can lie on this if you want, and I need a DNA sample so I can get stem cells from my architectural reconfiguration system.” She disappeared again, after Farrah had swabbed the inside of her cheek with one of the buds, into the depths of her TARDIS to the architectural reconfiguration system’s room.
Hello Shakira, the ARS said in an ethereal voice. It was a tree-like machine with glowing orbs and tentacles hanging off of its branches, with the orbs emitting a blue light.
“Salaam aleikum, I need mesenchymal stem cells with this DNA”, she answered, handing the swab over to the ARS, which took it in its’ tentacle-like ‘arms’ and then engulfed it into one of its orbs.
Is it the DNA of the blonde human?
“Yes it is.”
And you will be requiring a sterile container for these?
“Yes thankyou.” The ARS soon finished its’ work, and then gave Shakira a small jar containing millions of stem cells sitting in a jelly-like solution to sustain them. Shakira thanked the ARS, then left to quickly grab a laser scalpel, instant healer, set of degradable scaffold, cannabis oil of the indica strain, other medical supplies and her pink gun for protection, along with a bag to keep it all in. Sure, carrying a pink gun while wearing a pink salwar kameez made her look like a 70’s Afghan Barbie, but she honestly didn’t care. “Here I am!” she announced once she returned to the console room. “Farrah you should have some of this, it will keep the pain away”, she said, handing her the oil, which Farrah took a higher than usual dose of. It wasn’t psychoactive, at least not to her because she was already tolerant to it, but it would stop the pain and make her fall asleep.
“Do we have to take the fire stairs again?” Alana asked as Shakira locked her TARDIS.
“To get in? Yes, but I have a better idea”, Lawrence answered.
“And what would that be?” Shakira questioned him. She and Dex were no longer attracted to each other, but she was beginning to find Lawrence surprisingly sexy.
“The service elevator!” he said, smiling.
No travelling up stairs was required as they quickly took the fire corridor and service elevator to an empty operating theatre.
“You know this place inside out….I should have known all this stuff!” said Dex.
“You should have spent more time with your glasses on”, the blue-eyed doctor retorted. “Hey Strawberry, I thought you guys were betting on whether or not he’s just as attractive to the ladies with his glasses on?”
“Umm…..no, we didn’t do that.”
“Aww! I wanted to see him lose money!”
She paused. “Why?”
“Because it’s funny!”
“Hey! That’s….no wait you’re right”, Strawberry said, then laughed. They all got to the operating theatre in one piece, then Shakira sprayed them with antiseptics, put on her scrubs and sprayed herself and all her stuff. She gave Farrah a block anaesthetic because she was already sleeping and she wanted to use as little drugs as possible. “That is terrible!” she exclaimed as she could finally see how bad the break in her friend’s arm really was. Dex was assisting her, while the others guarded the room and Alana rolled her eyes at how much she felt like a Barbie doll while holding Shakira’s gun. Shakira carefully surrounded the breaks in Farrah’s arm with the degradable scaffolding, and filled these fractures with stem cells that would soon heal them as if they were never there. As she sealed her arm back together, she announced: “I am done here now!” and gently put her friend’s arm in a sling so she wouldn’t inappropriately move it.
“Good, now we can get out of here. I don’t wanna get caught, and Shakira you’re lucky to be a freelancer, you can do what you want, I should have thought of that a long time ago.” And so beautiful in so many ways…wait what am I thinking? She hit me! They ran to the service lifts, then impatiently waited for it to take them back to the ground floor so they could race through the fire stairs and back to Shakira’s TARDIS. However, when they reached the door, an unpleasant surprise greeted them.
“The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair, who can stay with us and tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares”, Sarah-Jane Smith said.
“FUCK NO!” All of Farrah’s doctors said in unison, and then stared at each other because of how weird that was. They then left, except for Shakira and Ursula.
“What the fuck is your problem?” asked Shakira.
“You’re all irresponsible, why can’t you accept things as they are?” Sarah-Jane asked.
“Because they were not acceptable!” yelled Ursula.
Unfortunately, Ms Smith had them right where certain people wanted them. Two cars raced in out of nowhere, aiming themselves for Shakira and Ursula, as Sarah-Jane got out of the way. “FUCKSOCKS!” Shakira screamed, then, thinking fast, pulled out her pink gun and shot the tyres of the first car. “SHIT I AM OUT OF BULLETS! I should have refilled it before I left!” she yelled.
“It’s okay!” Ursula reassured her, then pulled out a grenade from her handbag and screamed “SONTAR-HA!!” as she threw it at the second car, incapacitating it as the back half was left in pieces. They then ran back to where Shakira hid her TARDIS, and she asked Ursula, “Why do you carry grenades?”
“My father Strax always said to never go anywhere without spare grenades, as I never know when I might need one!”
“Are you guys alright?” Lawrence asked when they got back. “We saw everything!”
“We are safe now”, Ursula said, as Shakira unlocked her TARDIS.
“Come, let’s get inside…where is it you want to go?”
Farrah wanted to spend the night at her house in Los Angeles, so she did, with everyone there to protect her, because that’s what friends do, and they were worried and wanted to help her while she recovered.
In the middle of the night, both Shakira and Lawrence found each other on the roof.
“Couldn’t sleep?” he asked.
“I cannot yet”, she answered. “The only way the Time Lord police can find me is if that bitch tells them anything, but I’m sure she thinks I’m dead.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re alive”, he said, his blue eyes and highlights shining in the light of the full moon as he moved closer.
“So am I”, she replied, then looked up at him, and they kissed for the first time.
A/N: Well that was longer than usual. I got the idea after I saw photos of Farrah with her arm in a cast, and thought, ‘what would Shakira do?’